Sexy…such a vague word. Even though you may feel like you know EXACTLY what that means, I would venture to say…that’s your opinion. What is sexy to you is not sexy to me. What I find super sexy may be a major turn off for you! Part of the Blush & Tease Experience is defining YOUR sexy and letting me bring that out in you. Its so much fun to watch my clients view their final images and realize that they already have what they have been wishing for!
Well, before I go on and on, I want to introduce you to my friend Jessie! Jessie and I met at a conference a couple of months ago and clicked right away. Standing over a table of boudoir albums and advertisements, I learned that she is a marriage & counsel therapist here in Denver and her goal is to help people navigate relationship and sexuality. She is so passionate about seeing her clients live their best lives and helping them get to that point. I asked her if she would partner with me to help educated my followers in self confidence, sexuality, and self discovery. She asked if she could send clients to me when they are ready to see themselves from a different lens. Needless to say, we just work together. So get used to having Jessie around! She’ll be my well educated voice that can articulate things (way) better than me! I know I love encouraging women to find their sexy through the Blush & Tease Experience, but Jessie can take it even further and help you live that sexy every single day. Can anyone say YES PLEASE!?
Jessie…take the floor…
“I’ve been thinking about this concept of “sexiness”, for only about the past 25 years or so lol! I was a shy kid growing up and was often happy observing people rather than engaging with them. Like most young women I started recognizing at an early age how important appearance tended to be and all the rules that one needed to start adhering to if they wanted attention from boys (and as a female of course it was boys because no one was going to remotely broach the topic of sexual orientation). It seemed to me that a woman needed to have a real disdain for her body and desire to change every little thing that wasn’t considered “normal”, all while beating yourself up in front of other women or girls so as not to come off too proud or confident.
Not to mention all the mixed messages I was receiving from the media and society. So one of the messages I got, loud and clear, growing up was be sexy but don’t be sexual???? God forbid you have a sexual feeling or desire but the things you wear and how you walk should be the epitome of “sexiness”. If you were sexual in any way then you were a total “slut”, which of course was a negative connotation meant to bring shame and guilt upon you. However, it was still encouraged to be suggestive in the way you dressed and acted. By the time I graduated from high school I didn’t know what was up or down when it came to sex and the complete enigma of “sexiness”.
The concept of “sexiness” was like this magical secret that either you had or you didn’t. And it was all wrapped up in desire or need to be desired by someone. I struggled with all these questions about it; “Can I buy it? And if so where?” “Is it a piece of clothing, a look, a feeling?” “If I change something, anything about myself will that help me obtain it?”.
Now things change, as we get older, thank goodness!! I’m better able to identify my needs and don’t feel obliged to explain them to anyone but that came with time and work on my part. As I’ve gotten to know myself over the years the concept of “sexiness” has changed for me. Just like our relationships, how we choose to engage sexually, and often our desires change over time. Sex and sexiness are seen from our own perspective; we get to choose how much or how little we project and to whom. I think of sexiness as a light from within, a strength, and confidence that is always present. I have the ability to control it, boost it, or turn it down if needed and I have NO control over how other people receive or respond to this (a topic for a different day)!
But what if we don’t feel it or see it? There are times where we want it acknowledged and damn it, that’s okay too!!!! That’s where Adena comes in!! She is an artist that has the ability to enhance what is already present and shine a bigger light on it. Bring forth what has been forgotten or buried or hidden. That feeling of sexiness is something that can disappear for many people but women in particular; whether it is from trauma, depression, anxiety, or just life. There are ways to get it back because it never really leaves, you just need a way to conjure it up again. Adena’s photography can be a great way to do that, therapy can be a great way to do that; just having an amazing sex session with your partner could be a great way to do that!!!!!! But it’s all up to you. That’s the bottom-line, you have the power, you get to decide what sexy means to you and what role it plays in your day-to day life!! So enjoy it, think on it, and decide how you choose to use your own little magical power! I’d love to hear from people on how they keep their sexiness alive!”
Love Balance Counseling
Don’t you just LOVE her? I might just have to do a Facebook live with her soon so you can see her fiery red mane and adore her as much as I do haha! Until then…I’ll leave you with a few images…do any of these define sexy to you? To prove this, the images are nothing more than a woman, just like you, in the sheets, trusting me to show her something she can’t see. But how can they all be so different, so unique? Because they are my friend, and so are you.